For as much as I hear many of my fellow colleagues, both architects and engineers make fun of each other, I haven't heard too many good jokes from engineers about architects (but many good engineer jokes from architects!). So, I thought I'd post a few of the funnier jokes I've heard. It's all in good fun folks, please comment with other jokes, but keep it safe for work please!
1) Energy-modeler: That's the lousiest .dwg I've ever seen! Is that because you're ignorant or apathetic?
Architect: Huh? I don't know what you mean
Energy-modeler: Well, Don’t you know the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Architect: No, but who cares?
2)Why don't architects get into heaven?
Jesus was a carpenter.
3)So, why is heaven considered to be a perfect place?
Because there are no architects to screw up the design
4) Two licensed Architects were discussing the percentage of work versus pleasure in having sex. The first Architect says, "I think sex is 50% work and 50% pleasure." The second Architect shakes his head in disagreement stating, "No, I think sex is 25% work and 75% pleasure." Trying to reach consensus, they turn to the Intern Architect nearby and pose the question to him. "You're both wrong!" the young Intern replys, "Sex has to be 100% pleasure-if there was any work involved, you would have me do it. 5) An architect is said to be a man who knows a very little about a great deal and keeps knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically nothing about everything, whereas, on the other hand, an engineer is a man who knows a great deal about very little and who goes along knowing more and more about less and less until finally he knows practically everything about nothing. A contractor starts out knowing practically everything about everything, but ends up by knowing nothing about anything, due to his association with architects and engineers.
6) TRUE STORY: while modeling some drawings with TRACE 700 one day, I emailed the architect and said that I needed more details, as he had only sent the layout. He replied (very seriously), “Don’t you just TRACE it?”
7) Another true story: An engineer that I know asked an architect for a screen shot to see exactly what he was doing wrong on his computer... Upon opening the email, he received three fuzzy digital photos of his screen. Even worse, the flash was on and the monitor was off. I Guess the engineer didn’t specify EXACTLY what was needed.
8) A contractor, an engineer, and an architect were standing inside their recently completed building, looking out at the street. A VERY attractive woman walks by. The contractor whistles, the engineer says, “Did you see the legs on that woman?” The architect says, “Did I miss something, I was admiring my reflection”
9)A demolition engineer is someone who designs ways to destroy building architecture
A demolition architect is someone who builds ways to destroy design engineering
10) A new architect showed up at his managers office. His manager, slightly confused, asked why he was there and also, why in the heck he brought his chair with him. The new architect replied, “I was told I needed to return my CAD seat”
Don’t think any of these are funny? Reminds me of the time I read ten architecture puns hoping that one of them would make me laugh, but no pun in ten did.
11) How many architects does it take to grease a wood-chipper?
Two - But you have to run them through real slowly.
12) How many architects does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Nobody knows for sure, it has never been witnessed.
13) What's the most disgusting name you can call an Architect?
An Engineer, (they call it the "EN" word)
14) A contractor was hollering at an Engineer and and Architect - He said, "If you guys would just get these CAD drawings right the first time, you would be driving a Rolls Royce"
Engineeer Responds: "What's a Roll's Royce?"
Architect Responds: "What's a CAD drawing?"
Bob Fassbender graduated from the University of Wisconsin - Madison with a degree in Chemical-Engineering. Following graduation, he spent 3 years working as a Marketing Engineer for Trane C.D.S. In the C.D.S. group, Bob developed and supported design and analysis software, primarily TRACE 700™. In addition to his development work, Bob also traveled around the country as a TRACE 700™ and System Analyzer™ instructor. Bob is also an experienced user with eQUEST energy modeling software. Today, Bob continues training and energy modeling as a LEED accredited professional (with a focus on LEED EA credit 1).
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